J.D. Quote #1152
Quote from J.D. in My Five Stages
Dr. Cox: Can you believe the huevos on that Hedrick? Holy cow. It's like we've never had a patient die on us before. I gotta put this bag in the trunk.
J.D.: [v.o.] I was in the Porsche. I had never made it into the Porsche. It smelled like German heaven. I wasn't gonna blow this opportunity. I had to be careful about every little- Hey, a root beer.
Dr. Cox: Don't open that soda. It has been rolling around the floor for months. It will explode.
J.D.: Apparently, you're not familiar with the John Dorian three-tap method. Three taps and the foam goes bye-bye. [taps, opens can] Works every time.
[The can suddenly explodes, spraying huge amounts of foam for an improbable ten seconds, completely coating the inside of Dr. Cox's windshield and soaking Dr. Cox and J.D.]
J.D.: Ahh! The quickest way to my house is to take Elm.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Five Stages’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: OK, Teddy. I got this baby flowing now. I don't know if that's good. You should sue Kelso. You have a serious tort on your hands.
Ted: Tort?
Janitor: Civil case. From the French avoir tort.
Ted: Did you go to law school?
Janitor: No. I was Ruth Bader Ginsburg's janitor for a while.
Ted: Ruth Bader who?
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, Newbie, what do you got?
J.D.: That guy looks fantastic. What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes?
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: [v.o.] Lately, Elliot and her booty call, Keith, loved playing games. Tonight, it was "The Orchard Owner and the Mexican Apple Thief."
Elliot: Confess, Manuel! Confess that you stole these apples.
Keith: I was at the dance with the other pickers.
Elliot: Liar! [Elliot slaps him]
J.D.: [v.o.] Frankly, the whole thing disgusted me.
Elliot: You saw him do it, didn't you, Paco?
J.D.: [v.o.] Mostly because they never let me speak.
J.D.: [exaggerated Mexican accent] He hid them in his pantalones. He loves these apples. He makes apples pie and apples juice with them.
Elliot: Paco, you can't talk because you lost your tongue in that cider press accident, remember? Now, back to the pickers' bunkhouse!
J.D.: I hate the pickers' bunkhouse.
J.D.: [v.o.] And I hate Keith. Which begs the question: Why do I insist on being a part of their foreplay?