Jordan Quote #106
J.D.: [v.o.] There was sexual energy everywhere. For the women, it was due to the dashing new gynecologist, Dr.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, why would you need seven Pap smears in one month?
Jordan: I got a lot of Pap. Move your head so I can see.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: You know, I'm not gonna have a kid until that genetic technology they're talking about is available for everyone.
Carla: So you want to pick the sex and eye color?
Janitor: No, gills. And when that day comes, it's goodbye hospital, hello father-son treasure hunting team.
Carla: Wow. Well, you better get cracking. What are you, like, 45?
Janitor: Forty-three. I know I look a little older, but that's just 'cause I drink and smoke heavily, and work with chemicals, and sleep on my face.
Carla: No hard feelings?
Janitor: OK. All right. I swear on my unborn fish-boy's life, she will pay.
Quote from J.D.
Turk: So, when am I gonna get to meet Julie?
J.D.: Do I want her to meet Turk this soon? What if he doesn't like her?
Turk: What are you doing?
J.D.: I'm saying all my thoughts out loud so I don't mess this relationship up.
Turk: I don't understand.
J.D.: I forgot, sometimes Turk is slow.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Oh, I remember my first exam with Dr. Matthews. He said, "You're healthy down there." And then I said, "Right back at you." And then there was this weird little awkward pause, so I said, "I like to keep a clean shop." And then he asked to see my insurance card.
Quote from My Life in Four Cameras
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. Would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird. I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the hate?
Jordan: Again, last night.
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Quote from My Last Day
J.D.: Oh, Ms. Sullivan, thank you for helping us with Mr. Bober.
Jordan: Oh, don't mention it. And even though I wasn't invited to your little party, I brought presents for everyone.
Dr. Cox: Brace yourself there, Newbie.
Jordan: Carla, my ex-husband is in love with you. It's true. Ask your boyfriend. He knows. He and Perry talk about it all the time. I don't know why you haven't mentioned this to her. Perhaps you're afraid of something. Huh. And, Bob, when are you gonna tell Perry that that promotion you're making him jump through hoops for was filled months ago? It just seems wrong. Which brings us to Twinkie. If you don't have the courage to tell your "colleague" Dr. Dorian that you're still crazy about him, I'm gonna do it for you, 'cause that's what friends do. Yeah. And finally, Perry, you are not gonna believe what happened the first time I met your little protege here.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, please, God, no.
Jordan: I slept with him, and it was good. Oh, how's that for stirring things up? Have a great summer, everyone. Bye.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yup. One big happy family.
Quote from My Last Day
Elliot: He doesn't have insurance, so if you could talk to the other members of board today at the meeting, J.D. thought maybe-
Jordan: J.D. thought? First he dumps that patient on you, and now he wants you to ask me a favor? Honey, if you don't start saying no to him soon, you're gonna wind up on the losing end of a little game I like to call Hide The Pickle.
Elliot: Oh, J.D. and I are just colleagues.
Jordan: Oh, my God. I was just joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?
Elliot: [scoffs] A little.
Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about. Sex is for making babies and revenge.