J.D. Quote #894

Quote from J.D. in My Roommates

J.D.: Who needs a baby-sitter? I'll do it! You don't even have to pay me in cash. Just pay me in hot showers. And you don't have to, like, wash me, unless you want to, but that could be weird. I don't know.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I've got this one covered.
J.D.: Come on, you two are interracial best buddies. I, too, have a black best friend. Go out. Enjoy it. Celebrate your uniqueness. I can do it!
Ron: I'm sorry. Did you just call me black? Because the last time I checked, the correct term was African-American.
J.D.: Well, Turk lets me call him brown bear.
Ron: Who the hell is Turk?!
J.D.: I should go.
Dr. Cox: Angry black man. It never disappoints.
Ron: I pull it out when I need to.

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 ‘My Roommates’ Quotes

Quote from Jordan

Dr. Cox: I've only actually met the child once, so I think it's pretty important that we figure out a way to spend some alone-time with him.
Jordan: Perry, if I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with someone else's child, it's gonna be with our neighbor's 17-year-old. And don't think he hasn't asked. Oh, Pablo. Hmm.

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: So, I hear you're homeless. I wanna volunteer, give you a place to stay.
J.D.: I don't think so, buddy.
Janitor: Listen, crash in my garage. I guarantee you there will not be another person in there.
[fantasy: J.D. is awoken in the night by animal sounds. He looks up to see a group of raccoons. He touches his face then licks his finger.]
J.D.: You're gonna slather jam on my face and stick a family of raccoons on me, aren't you?
Janitor: Damn it. I've become predictable.

Quote from Todd

J.D.: Thanks for letting us crash here, man.
Todd: The Todd's not accustomed to receiving gentleman callers.
J.D.: Okay. Oh, cool picture. Which one of those guys is you?
Todd: Oh, I don't swim. So there's only one rule if you're gonna stay at "El Casa de Todd". You got to hammock up.
J.D.: Oh, I don't have one of those, Todd.
Todd: No problem. What are you, about a medium?
J.D.: Extra-medium.
Todd: This will work. And it'll look good, too.