Elliot Quote #628
Quote from Elliot in My Comedy Show
Denise: Why'd you lie about talking to Briana's mom?
Elliot: Uh, I'm going first. Why did you go talk to her after I told you to drop it?
Denise: It's not fair what her mom's doing.
Elliot: And why is that?
Denise: I don't know. Because people need to be able to go out and do things and live life.
Elliot: Where have I heard that before? Oh, yeah, It's the exact same advice I've given you 9,000 times.
Denise: So you had me get crushed by that mom just to prove a point?
Carla: She even had me give you a little push so you wouldn't wimp out.
Elliot: I'm very bright. Look, I've been there. I did what you did. I was an intern. I've lived at this hospital. I saw the same exact people day after day, Which, for the record, makes even the uggos look attractive after a while.
Denise: Oh, is that how you got together with Dr. Dorian?
Elliot: What? No! Well, maybe at first. No. No.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Comedy Show’ Quotes
Quote from Elliot
Denise: Okay, Mr. Rego, I know you've been complaining about the bedpans being too cold, so I used an incubator in pediatrics to warm this bad boy up for you. Enjoy.
Elliot: You know, I used to use an incubator to keep my lunch warm till some whiny new mom complained that her preemie smelled like a ham sandwich. Weird thing was, I had a tuna melt in there, not ham. Most newborns smell amazing. An unlucky few are ham babies.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Okay, try and believe in us, guys. This thing has not been funny for eight years, when we were interns.
[flashback to Turk dancing, dressed like Laverne:][
Turk: [falsetto singing] I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. One, two, three, Jesus!
Nurse Roberts: I sure do love me some, Jesus.
Carla: I know, Laverne.
J.D.: You rang?
Turk: The messiah, ladies and gentlemen! The messiah.
J.D.: Shalom and nanu nanu, my friends.
Nurse Roberts: Oh, hell, no!
J.D.: Ruh-roh. [Nurse Roberts tackles J.D.]
Turk: There will be a 20-minute intermission.
[present:]
J.D.: I never saw her coming. She was killed in a car accident. I miss her. Anyway, let's be funny... for her.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Everything okay?
Janitor: I'm great. I just don't know what's real anymore. But that's okay, right? I mean, so what if big chunks of my life were just figments of my imagination? So I never went to China and had a baby with a local. Maybe I was never in The Fugitive.
Carla: Listen, this place can make anyone crazy. Once, after a double shift, I swore I went home and crawled into bed with Turk. Next day, I woke up in the on call room spooning Dr. Beardface. Now the guy's always slipping me hotel keys.
Janitor: [laughs] Can't believe you're being so nice to me when I almost punished you for something that never even happened. Please accept my apologies.
Carla: That was easier than I thought. No, beardface.