Elliot Quote #181
Quote from Elliot in My Own American Girl
J.D.: [v.o.] Elliot's unlucky streak continued with the head of the radiology department.
Elliot: Dr. Moyer. Uh, you told me my patient had colitis, and it turns out it was just traveler's diarrhea?
Dr. Moyer: So? Sounds like good news.
Elliot: Yeah. He took it as bad news, maybe 'cause of the unnecessary colonoscope I shoved three feet up his pooper?
Dr. Moyer: What do you want me to do?
Elliot: Uh, apologize to my patient and tell him it was your mistake, no big deal?
Dr. Moyer: Think I'm gonna pass on that one. See, I got you pegged as one of those spineless types that's not gonna cause me any trouble no matter what I do. So, thanks for stopping by and don't forget your car door.
Elliot: I just didn't want it to get stolen, okay?
Dr. Moyer: [gesticulates wildly] That was me not caring.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Own American Girl’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Elliot: What are you doing in here!?
Janitor: It's the men's room.
Elliot: I know! I mean, it's not like I thought those were some kind of new female urinals, and then tried them, and found them oddly comfortable...
Janitor: I'm just gonna replace these, uh, urinal cakes, and then, uh, I'll go.
Elliot: Why can't I just grow up? Why can't I be stronger? Janitor? Have you ever looked at yourself and wished that you were different in every single way?
Janitor: No. I'm a winner. But, I will tell you something that my grandmother told me when I was a kid, even though at the time I thought she was my mother. She said: "Time spent wishing is time wasted." Now, she died shortly after that. And my sister, who actually was my mother, she never got over it. Neither did my brother-dad. But the point is this: If you want to be different, then be different!
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Sean?
Sean: Hey, Elliot! How you doing?
Elliot: You look great! Except, the buzz-cut has kind of tapped into this recurring dream I have where my dad makes me marry this army colonel named Johnny Case who, as it turns out, already has a wife in the Philippines. Anyways, she and I become friends, but then she smothers him with her thighs and then frames me for it.
Sean: Well, yeah, I'm- I'm doing about the same, too.
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] As a third-year resident, you know everyone so well you can practically speak for them. For instance... [Turk:] Remember: No more dancing. Pow! [Carla:] Good morning, Bambi. Sign this, please? [Janitor] Who you eyeballing, tough guy? [J.D.:] And of course... [Dr. Cox:] Well, Zsa Zsa. Now you've put me in quite the pickle. You see with those earphones on, you can't hear me, but! The odds are highly against you cracking open that yapper and annoying me today. So, what to do? What to do? What to do? Ah, hell-
Dr. Cox: Stop addressing me as "Dr. Cox" in front of your patients. When they find out my actual name, they tend to page me with questions when they realize just exactly how inept you really are. Oh, and as an added safety measure, from now on, I'll only be responding to "Doc," "Doctor," "Caesar," or "The Big Cheese;" and no, I'm not joking. Not now. Not ever.