Dr. Cox Quote #11
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Mentor
J.D.: Dr. Cox, about Will.
Dr. Cox: Not now! I've a 10-minute break and my soap is on. [to Doug] Hey, Skeech, if you do go ahead and change the channels, I swear I'll suture your hands together.
J.D.: Right. So with Will-
Dr. Cox: Oh, this woman is just fantastic. I mean, the breasts are probably fake but by God, those tears are real.
J.D.: [v.o.] Time for a bold move.
[After J.D. turns off the TV, Dr. Cox snorts like a wild animal]
J.D.: I need to know how we are gonna fix this thing with Will?
Dr. Cox: Do you know what you've just done? You just lost all lapdog privileges.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: No more walkies, no more treats, no more following me around the hospital.
J.D.: [scoffs] I'm not your lapdog.
Dr. Cox: Hey, you back there. What do we do with lapdogs who can't behave in the house?
Doug: Make them stay outside?
Dr. Cox: That's right. You now have five seconds to get out of this room, otherwise I'm gonna start whacking you on the nose with this. [J.D. laughs] Don't laugh, this isn't a joke, Newbie. Get out.
J.D.: But I was thinking-
Dr. Cox: [throws paper] Go! [to Doug] What do you want to watch there, Captain Courage?
Doug: Days of our Lives?
Dr. Cox: Attaboy.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Mentor’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: How's it goin'?
Janitor: I'm 37 years old and I'm a janitor. How do you think it's going?
J.D.: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
Janitor: Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around. I'm going to have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living. And that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whozits, Dr. Nothing. No, seriously, come on. You can come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Elliot: Hi, how are you? I need David Farr's chart.
Nurse Roberts: We all need lots of things.
Elliot: Great. Dr. Kelso? You're the Chief of Medicine. Is there a special way to communicate with nursing staff that I'm not getting?
Dr. Kelso: Well, sugar won't work because they're already so sweet. Now, listen, Dr. Whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, you tattled yesterday, I responded. I feel closer to you than ever, really. But the ramifications are yours. So don't try to drag me into your pathetic, whiny, little squabble with that Godawful bunch of malcontents. I hope you all kill each other. Have a great day, ladies.
Elliot: I hate this place.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: You're to return that umbrella to me at the hospital. Not here. Is that clear? And, Newbie... Know what your problem is?
J.D.: My bones hurt?
Dr. Cox: You were gonna, what, rescue me from loneliness with a $3 six-pack of light beer? It turns out we can't save people from themselves, Newbie. We just treat 'em. We treat that kid with a respiratory problem and when he comes back with cancer, go ahead and treat that, too.
J.D.: Well, thanks for the pick-me-up.
Dr. Cox: Hey! Smokers, drinkers, druggies, fatties, whatever. All I'm saying is that if you keep living and dying on whether or not a person changes, well... You're not gonna make it as a doctor, that's all. Now come here and give me a hug. It's OK, come here. Oh, get outta here! And take this piss water with you. It's embarrassing to have it here.
Man: [o.s.] I'll drink it!
Dr. Cox: Eh, I'll take the beer. You'll beat it.