J.D. Quote #886

Quote from J.D. in My Roommates

J.D.: [v.o.] I wasn't the only one having relationship trouble. Lately, Turk and Carla had lost their sizzle. And as a couple, when you reach a roadblock, you can do one of two things. Look inward and try and solve your problems together or blame someone else. You have to move out.
J.D.: What? Is this about the bra catapult thing? Because if it's that big a deal, I can throw my own water balloons. I don't need those C-cups.

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 ‘My Roommates’ Quotes

Quote from Jordan

Dr. Cox: I've only actually met the child once, so I think it's pretty important that we figure out a way to spend some alone-time with him.
Jordan: Perry, if I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with someone else's child, it's gonna be with our neighbor's 17-year-old. And don't think he hasn't asked. Oh, Pablo. Hmm.

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: So, I hear you're homeless. I wanna volunteer, give you a place to stay.
J.D.: I don't think so, buddy.
Janitor: Listen, crash in my garage. I guarantee you there will not be another person in there.
[fantasy: J.D. is awoken in the night by animal sounds. He looks up to see a group of raccoons. He touches his face then licks his finger.]
J.D.: You're gonna slather jam on my face and stick a family of raccoons on me, aren't you?
Janitor: Damn it. I've become predictable.

Quote from Todd

J.D.: Thanks for letting us crash here, man.
Todd: The Todd's not accustomed to receiving gentleman callers.
J.D.: Okay. Oh, cool picture. Which one of those guys is you?
Todd: Oh, I don't swim. So there's only one rule if you're gonna stay at "El Casa de Todd". You got to hammock up.
J.D.: Oh, I don't have one of those, Todd.
Todd: No problem. What are you, about a medium?
J.D.: Extra-medium.
Todd: This will work. And it'll look good, too.