Dan: All in all, I'm pretty damn happy. I'm happy, you know.
J.D.: [v.o.] And now for the apology.
J.D.: That's a load of crap. Look, I know you, OK? I know the reason you wanted to pretend you're a doctor yesterday is 'cause you hate working in that bar and you wanted to feel like somebody for once. Come on, Dad, you're not driving that car across the country for the $300. You're doing it 'cause you like how you feel when you drive it. And the funny thing is you could be that guy. But you're afraid that if you actually have to try at something, you might fail, and that's just not a chance you're willing to take.
Dan: What can I say? It's been a real pleasure seeing you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Right then, I knew I'd never see my brother the same way again.

J.D.: [v.o.] I knew my brother would handle this like he always did when there was an emotional conflict between us.
Dan: Can you work the windows from there?
J.D.: No. Why? [loud fart] Oh, God. Please tell me that that was the horn.
Dan: There's your heated seat, my friend.
J.D.: Oh, God, it's everywhere.