Alexis Quote #296
Alexis: Here's the thing you should know about my Dad. Sweetest little guy, gives the worst gifts.
Stevie: Okay, well that makes me feel a little better.
Alexis: Like he built David a basketball court for his Bar Mitzvah.
Stevie: Oh, boy, okay.
Alexis: Mm hmm. And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him, is to show him just how wrong the gift is. Like, David forced us to watch him shoot at a basket for 10 minutes, until the ball hit the rim, and then bounced back in his face. But it actually worked out perfectly, because all David really wanted for his Bar Mitzvah, was a nose job. They took the court down the next day.
Quote from Moira
Moira: We landed on a one-of-a-kind event to celebrate and congregate those who happen to be unattached, uh, in the hopes of facilitating interpersonal connections.
Alexis: Sorry, so like a singles event, then?
Moira: That word is now considered derogatory. I believe they prefer to be called independents.
Alexis: So you stole my idea, took it to Council, and claimed it as your own?
Moira: Alexis, now is not the time for pettifogging!
Quote from Moira
Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.
Quote from Moira
Ronnie: I think we need to be more realistic about what we can pull off.
Moira: And who's to say what we can pull off? I recently heard of a small town in Scotland, no bigger than a thimble, that is making millions from a week-long singles fest. Now, if an idea as simple as that can work for a people as infamously disorganized as the Scotch, surely we can aspire to something of equal scale.
Quote from The Hospies
Alexis: [singing] Are you ready? Let's do it. I'm a Lamborghini I'm a Hollywood star I'm a little bit tipsy When I drive my car I'm expensive sushi I'm a cute, huge yacht I'm a little bit single Even when I'm not Ah! Ah! I'm little bit I'm a little bit I'm a little bit of la la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis La la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis
Jocelyn: Oh wow, okay. [stops music]
Jocelyn: Just wonderful.
Alexis: Okay, yeah, I still actually had a few more verses. And in the last verse, I really get to showcase my range.
Quote from Driving Test
Alexis: I don't know why you didn't ask me first, David. I have my license in seven different countries, And I have my "F" Class.
David: Isn't that for transport trucks?!
Alexis: Yes, well, I had a lot of people to move! Anyway, it's not a big deal. You just get in, you do what they tell you, and then you get out. And wear your best hair perfume.
David: Okay, I don't have hair perfume, and not all of us can flirt our way into getting a driver's license!
Alexis: Okay, you try parallel parking in a burka, David. No amount of flirting can get you out of that, trust me!
Quote from Ronnie's Party
David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!