Patrick: It looks like the punch needs a refill.
Ted: Oh hey, I could use a refill too, big guy.
Alexis: Okay, I don't know where "big guy" is coming from, but it needs to stop.

Stevie: For what it's worth, I'm having a great time.
David: You're like a tsetse fly. Where's your cell phone boyfriend?
Stevie: On my cell phone.

David: It was spin the bottle! If Patrick was wasted, and spun the bottle, and it landed on you, and you guys kissed, I wouldn't care.
Alexis: You're lying, David.
David: Okay, is that what needs to happen to clear the air here? You guys need to kiss?
Patrick: David, let's not be dramatic.
Alexis: Yeah, maybe it does.
Patrick: What?
David: Well, by all means.
Patrick: I think it's actually more the principle of the thing.

Ted: Hey, are we spinning more bottles?

Johnny: Well, we did it, sweetheart. And, uh, what do you think we've learned here today?
Moira: That Adelina was grossly underpaid.
Johnny: No, I mean, we could've been good, hands-on parents if we wanted to. We've got it in us.
Moira: That was never in question, John. I'm even more convinced that our hands-off approach served them better.

Moira: I just put him down.
Jocelyn: Oh my gosh, you got little Roland Jr. to sleep?
Moira: Oh no, I'm talking about John. No, Roland's been asleep for quite some time.
Jocelyn: And everything was fine? No major problems?
Moira: He is a slice of meringue, Jocelyn.

Patrick: Okay, you know what? Maybe I overreacted for a second. I was just talking to Alexis, and we sorta wound each other worked up. And Stevie didn't help.
David: Stevie never helps.

Ted: It's good that everyone had fun.
Alexis: Okay, you still have your slippers on.
Ted: Yeah, I know, sometimes my feet get really cold when I drink too much.
Alexis: It's not a thing.
Ted: Okay, well, gimme a kiss.
Alexis: No! You kissed my brother tonight, I'm not kissing you after you kissed my brother.
Ted: Pffft! Who kissed your brother?
Alexis: Okay, it's time for "Fun Ted" to just pass out.
Ted: No, he's not even tired. In fact, if anything, I'd say he's only becoming more fun.
Alexis: Okay. Okay! Okay! Okay! I think we should just like, sleep it off.
Ted: Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. But first just give your brother a kiss.
Alexis: Ew, Ted, Ew!
Ted: Come on.
Alexis: Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Ted: Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! That's you.

Stevie: I'm not sure if it's just the punch, but he could get it.
David: Stevie, that's disgusting. Ted, can I get you a party shot?
Ted: Cool!