Johnny: I want you to move your clothes.
David: I did.
Johnny: Out of my closet. You've got t-shirts on hangers. I've nowhere to hang my clothes.
David: Well, put them over the t-shirts then.

Moira: I need you to fill this out please.
Alexis: Fill what out?
Moira: Your community service papers. As our only delinquent, I hope it's not asking too much.

Alexis: I don't get it. It's all done.
Moira: No, there's still a little bit that needs to be filled in.
Alexis: Um... All that's missing is my middle name.
Moira: Then fill it in please.
Alexis: Do I have to do that?
Moira: Why must you be so constantly irksome?
Alexis: Do you not know my middle name?
Moira: Of course I do. I blessed you with it.
Alexis: Okay, so, um, then what name should I put down then?

David: Wait. Alexis has a middle name? Why is this the first time hearing of this? Do do I have a middle name?
Johnny: Now you come into the room.

Ronnie: Are you high right now?
Alexis: No, I'm not.
Ronnie: Well, you might wanna be, 'cause this isn't exactly thrilling work. And you won't be gettin' any chit chat from your buddy.
Alexis: What buddy?
Ronnie: You're not the only druggy in town, Hun.
Mutt: Ronnie.

Johnny: We have lost touch as a family and if we're gonna get through this ordeal together, we have got to get reacquainted. Now, back at Rose Video, we had management retreats where we would play fun team-building exercises-
David: You also had company-wide spa days. Why don't we try that?

David: How many people do you know that are currently in the prison system? Is it like twelve?
Alexis: Um, I'm pretty sure just two. [holds two fingers up at David]

Johnny: Alexis you're grounded.
Alexis: No! That was ten years ago, and everybody does dumb stuff in high school.
Johnny: You were 17?! Did you know this?
Moira: As if. I don't do girl talk.

Alexis: Okay, everybody does dumb stuff everywhere. For example, I saw Mutt today the guy that lives in the barn making out with the mayor's wife.
Moira: What's-her-face?!
Alexis: Mm-hmm.
Johnny: And the homeless kid?
Alexis: Mm-hmm. Guys like that will bone anything.
David: Well, not anything.
Alexis: Stop.
David: 'Cause that would mean-
Alexis: Stop. Stop.

Moira: Johnny. Johnny, look who's come in.
Johnny: Is it true?
Moira: Politician's neglected wife sleeps with a ranch hand. I love it.