April Quote #267
Quote from April in London (Part 2)
April: Okay, well, before you go, I have something for you. I feel like you're getting sad about how stupid and lame people are, and that is my job, not yours. So I'm gonna read this letter to you, out loud, but if you hug me afterwards, I swear to God, I'll scream and pull my hair out and maybe punch you in the face. Okay?
Leslie Knope: Okay.
April: Please sit. [clears throat] "Dear award committee members..."
Leslie Knope: [sobbing]
April: Leslie, I didn't even start.
Leslie Knope: Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
April: "Dear award committee members, where I live, there are a lot of apathetic people, people who don't care at all about what they do or how they do it. They let the world wash over them and barely notice anyone else is even there. Leslie Knope is not one of these people. She cares about everything and everyone in our town. I don't know how she does it. People come to her with the pettiest, stupidest problems, and she cares-- like, really, actually cares-- what happens to them. And if you're lucky enough to be her friend, your life gets better every day. She spends every waking moment thinking of new ways to make her friends happy. There is something wonderful about seeing someone who has found her true purpose on earth. For some people, I guess that's being an astronaut or a hot dog-eating champion. For Leslie, her true purpose on earth, her true meaning, is making people's lives better. That's what I love about her, and that's why she deserves this award. Sincerely... Satan."
Leslie Knope: You're getting hugged right now.
April: No, I told you not to.
Leslie Knope: I'm giving you a hug.
April: No! Stay away! No!
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘London (Part 2)’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Chris: Hey, Jerry. I didn't know you were working today.
Jerry: Yeah, Ron asked me to come in while he's away. Of course, I had to cancel my cardiologist appoint--
Chris: That's great. Now, here's a piece of information that is interesting. Ann is pregnant, and it's my baby.
Jerry: Oh, my God, that's wonderful news! Oh, there's so much in front of you. I mean, soon you're gonna start showing, and then your clothes will feel tight, and then, oh, people are gonna start rubbing your tummy all the time!
Ann: [laughs] That sounds terrible.
Jerry: Well, Gayle, she got really queasy, and I gained a lot of sympathy weight. You know, actually, before my kids, I looked a lot like you, Chris.
Chris: I'm very sad. Please stop talking.
Jerry: And, of course, pretty soon, Ann, your milk is gonna come in.
Ann: Oh.
Jerry: That is exciting. Mmm. [gulping] Yep, and it happens sooner than you'd think. The babies can sense it. You would be shocked, 'cause they are rooting around for that nipple. [smacking lips] Mm, mm. Gimme, gimme. Mm, mm, mm. I want milk! Mm, mm, mm, mm. Ohh. Life is a miracle.
Quote from Donna
Chris: I just never thought that I would get to make this announcement. It's a very special day. Okay. Hi, Donna.
Ann: So...
Donna: You're pregnant.
Ann: Oh, man, Tom told you.
Donna: Nope. You're drinking decaf coffee, which you usually only do in the afternoon, you're wearing an empire-waist dress and loose shoes 'cause your feet are already swelling. I'd put you at nine, maybe ten weeks.
Chris: My goodness, you're observant.
Donna: Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Hmm. When did you make the switch to boxer briefs?
Chris: Yesterday.
Ann: Okay, please stop looking at him.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: Why are we here?
Ron Swanson: Just thought you needed some fresh air, even if that air is filled with the foul stench of European socialism.