Chris Quote #67
Quote from Chris in Li'l Sebastian
Chris: Hi, Ann Perkins.
Ann: Hi. How are you?
Chris: I'm dying.
Ann: What?
Chris: Tendonitis.
Ann: Oh. I don't know if you should lead with "I'm dying."
Chris: You're right, you're right. So. What's up with you?
Ann: I'm just helping Leslie plan Li'I Sebastian's memorial service.
Chris: Li'I Sebastian died? That's terrible.
Ann: Yeah, well, he was old, and he had a lot of ailments.
Chris: Like tendonitis?
Ann: I don't know. I don't have his chart in front of me.
Chris: Could you get it?
Ann: What? No... There's no chart.
Chris: Oh, my God. Death is inescapable. Goodbye, Ann Perkins.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Li'l Sebastian’ Quotes
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: We'd like to encourage everyone to buy our merchandise. All the proceeds will go towards Li'I Sebastian's favorite charity, the Afghan Institute of Learning. Next, we have a special musical tribute by Mr. Andy Dwyer.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
[back:]
Andy: This song is called 5,000 Candles in the Wind. [plays guitar and sings] Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap and you learn to fly Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind [crowd applauds]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, "All right. Another bureaucrat ate it." But then I found out it was Li'I Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.
Quote from Tammy Two
Tammy Two: Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.
Ron Swanson: Tammy.
Tammy Two: Hello, Ron. Ooh, what happened here? And more importantly, does the carpet match the face?
Ron Swanson: If you're looking for trouble, take it somewhere else. An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face. And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy Two: Tell that to your pants-tent.
Ron Swanson: It's just the way I'm standing. Go back to the library, where you belong.