Chris Quote #54
Chris: We need to find a new PR Director for the Health Department. Dennis Cooper was fired today.
Ben: Why?
Chris: Short answer, he went bananas. Long answer, his wife, Jan, had an affair, gave him a venereal disease, and so he put signs about her all through City Hall. I'm sure you've seen them.
Both: Oh, yeah.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: "Jan Cooper will give you chlamydia, brought to you by the Pawnee Health Department." "Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers." "The department of health congratulates Jan Cooper, Miss Chlamydia." "Jan, I love you. Please come back. I realize that I'm not blameless here. Please. Brought to you by the Health Department." "Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whoreville."
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Fight’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are U.S. Army-issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Laurence Fein two-inch, axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Ann came in the next day and had a second interview with Chris. She nailed it, of course. But she doesn't want to totally leave her job. So they struck up a deal. She works at City Hall part-time, and two days a week, she still gets to be the greatest nurse in the world. Win-win. We need to remember what's important in life... friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work... it doesn't matter. But work is third.
Quote from Tom
Jean-Ralphio: Listen, you got to jump on the Tommytown Express. This guy has some of the best investment ideas I've ever heard in my life.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Make a baby tuxedo clothing line. A department store with a guest list. White fur ear muffs for men. A new brand of bottled water called H2-HO. Contact lenses that display text messages. Invent a phone that smells good. Own a night club called eclipse that's only open for one hour two times a year. Cover charge... $5,000. I can keep going.