Chris: We need to find a new PR Director for the Health Department. Dennis Cooper was fired today.
Ben: Why?
Chris: Short answer, he went bananas. Long answer, his wife, Jan, had an affair, gave him a venereal disease, and so he put signs about her all through City Hall. I'm sure you've seen them.
Both: Oh, yeah.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: "Jan Cooper will give you chlamydia, brought to you by the Pawnee Health Department." "Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers." "The department of health congratulates Jan Cooper, Miss Chlamydia." "Jan, I love you. Please come back. I realize that I'm not blameless here. Please. Brought to you by the Health Department." "Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whoreville."