Leslie Knope Quote #637
Quote from Leslie Knope in Eagleton
Leslie Knope: I want her arrested for attempted murder.
Chief Trumple: For God's sake, Knope. Get a grip.
Lindsay Carlisle Shay: [sirens wailing] Thank God you're here! I want her arrested! She attacked me, and then she hurled my Kate Spade headband somewhere.
Chief Trumple: I think my Eagleton colleagues would agree that we don't want to make a federal case out of this, so I suggest you both apologize to each other, and we pretend this never happened.
Leslie Knope: I will never apologize to her.
Lindsay Carlisle Shay: Nor I her.
Leslie Knope: [mockingly] "Nor I her." I doth proclaim to be a stupid fartface.
Lindsay Carlisle Shay: Nice retort. Did G.B. Shaw write that for you?
Leslie Knope: Did G.B. Shaw write your stupid fartface?
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Eagleton’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] People in Eagleton are straight up mean to us. I would never set foot over there. But it's the only place that I can get my bumble and bumble hair care products, so I'm there every eight days.
Quote from Donna
Tom: They put up a fence.
Leslie Knope: Who? [gasps] No!
Andy: What's that?
Leslie Knope: There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and...
Tom: Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land. There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in.
Donna: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs. And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Happy Birthday, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Ann said you had a big party... sombreros, karaoke.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I did that for Ann. Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?
Ron Swanson: What about the giant list of things April was doing?
Leslie Knope: That was just a list of ways to mess with you. She do 'em all?
Ron Swanson: She did indeed.
Leslie Knope: So I have rented Bridge on the River Kwai and The Dirty Dozen. [cork pops] Artie from security is outside the door, so no one will bother you. And a cab will be here whenever you're ready to take you home.
Ron Swanson: Thank you.