Leslie Knope Quote #1181
Quote from Leslie Knope in Partridge
Leslie Knope: Okay, excuse me. I would like to point out that we drove all the way here from Pawnee, Indiana, a city with some class, by the way. And, sure, my husband made an honest mistake 20 years ago. But it was very meaningful that you were gonna finally...
Ben: [watching in hospital] Hi, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: ... Be able to forgive him.
Man: If it's so meaningful to him, then where is he?
Leslie Knope: He's in the hospital, sir. He has a calcified rock lodged in his penis! Frankly, Ben Wyatt is the best thing to ever come out of this crap town.
Man: Oh, yeah? What about Judy Garland?
Leslie Knope: Judy Garland's from Partridge?
Man: She lived here for a while.
Woman: And Lee Janzen.
Leslie Knope: Who's Lee Janzen?
Woman: He's a golfer. He's pretty good.
Leslie Knope: Well, Ben Wyatt's better than Lee Janzen, and he's better than Judy Garland. [crowd murmuring] That's crazy. Judy Garland's amazing. But Ben Wyatt is better than all of you because he cared about this town, and he tried to help it. You know, screw you, Partridge. [crowd booing] And a sled is a stupid mascot.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Partridge’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote from Tom
Tom: I don't understand. I was great. I was like Mark Z in The Social "N." My testimony was amazing for your case.
Ron Swanson: But it wasn't the truth. And neither was yours. You even called me a... [whispers] vegetarian. What if that testimony leaks? How will people ever respect me?
April: Ugh, whatever. The truth is stupid. I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.
Tom: Yeah, lying is all I know. It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and get reunited with the love of my life, Latika.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Andy: Ron, hey, let me be your lawyer. I'll object to everything anyone says, trial will go on forever, you don't have to pay. Problem solved.
Ron Swanson: That's a kind offer, Andrew, but I won't be hiring an attorney. I'll represent myself, as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.