Andy Quote #56
Quote from Andy in Tom's Divorce
Andy: Hey, Mark. The shoeshine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about. Ann, hey! What a coincidence! Are you in this office purely for business reasons?
Ann: Pleasure, actually. My boyfriend Mark works here. He's sitting right next to me.
Mark: Hey, Andy. What a surprise, running into you all day, every day, every single place that we are.
Andy: Likewise. Well, I guess I'll see you guys around.
Ann: See you.
Andy: Oh! Uh, also, Mark, again, we don't have those extra-small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, it's gonna take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before. We'll talk.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Mark never asked me for any small, weirdly-shaped condoms. I made that up. Every day, I subtly chip away at their relationship. Weakening it, little by little.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Tom's Divorce’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Tom: I'll have the surf-and-turf-a-saurus, and a couple of bottles of wine. I'm gonna need a lot of wine, so keep it flowing.
Ann: I'm not gonna be drinking anything. Just wanted everybody to know that.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: I'm not a big fan of group dinners where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get. I ordered a Tyranna-Caesar salad, and that's all I'm paying for.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: God! It is rough in here. Is it always like this?
Ron Swanson: I wouldn't know. Don't like strip clubs. Smells like a wet mop in here. And I get the feeling that every one of these women is running a low-grade fever.
Leslie Knope: You're one of the good ones, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Wait a minute. Hello, beautiful.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt-of-the-earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses. But I will take a free breakfast buffet any time, any place.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. [Leslie laughs] I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.