Leslie Knope Quote #1161

Quote from Leslie Knope in Correspondents' Lunch

Joan Callamezzo: Our next guest has asked me to read this.
Leslie Knope: Oh, no. Oh, no, I forgot I did this. Joan, no--
Joan Callamezzo: "Strap on your adult diapers, everyone. Because you're about to wet yourself from laughter. Give it up for Leslie Knope." [applause]
Leslie Knope: "Whassup," Pawnee? [laughter] Um... Borat. [scattered laughs; silence] Well, that's my time. They're giving me the light. So, uh, I did great. [applause]
Martin Housely: Thank you, Leslie Knope. You know what they say. Drama is hard, and sometimes comedy is not in our wheelhouse.

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 ‘Correspondents' Lunch’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: I have a press conference about the Pawnee Commons in two hours. So I need to go through every email that I've ever sent, ever. I need to know what they might use against me.
Ron Swanson: You can't hack into a typewriter. That's all I have to say.
Leslie Knope: Can it, Unabomber. This is an emergency.

Quote from April

Ben: Andy, are you okay?
Andy: Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.
[aside to camera:]
April: Ever since Andy failed the police academy exam, his self-esteem has hit rock bottom. He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Okay, I need more jokes, people. Ben is having his first day at work, so he cannot help me. So I need you guys to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: I have a joke for you.
Leslie Knope: Okay.
Ron Swanson: The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. [laughs goofily]
Leslie Knope: That's not really a joke, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I disagree. I find it hilarious.