Jerry Quote #54
Quote from Jerry in Ron and Diane
Ann: Well, hello again. You ready to be nice to Jerry? Because it's so cold out here, it reminds me of my wife's lasagna.
April: I actually like that one.
Jerry: Hey, guys! I thought you weren't coming. I--you know, never got your RSVP.
April: Hi, Jerry. We got you a gift. Merry Christmas.
Andy: Yeah, just-- we took up a collection to pay your hospital bills, since you almost farted yourself to death.
Tom: Every time we did something mean, we put a dollar in a box.
Jerry: Wow. I'm the luckiest man on earth. Okay, well, come on in! It's a party.
[As Tom, April and Andy enter the house, they close the door on Jerry]
Jerry: Uh. Oh, jeez.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Diane’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Recently, I made a chair. When I was finished, I thought it was a good chair. I submitted it to the Indiana Fine Woodworking Association, who felt it merited consideration for an award. [chuckles] It's been a real whirlwind.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Where's Diane? I need her.
Leslie Knope: She left.
Ron Swanson: Of course. Tammy ruins everything.
Leslie Knope: No, she left because of me. She's threatened by our relationship.
Ron Swanson: [laughs] That's ridiculous. I don't think of you romantically. You're pro-government, you never stop talking, and you have blonde hair. You're my worst nightmare.
Quote from April
Ann: This is a lovely party thrown by a lovely man and his lovely family. There's no place for meanies.
April: Aw, forget it, I'm coming in. Ow! Get off me.
Ann: Wait. [laughs] You're so weak, really? [April groans] I mean, I'm barely even doing anything. Are you iron-deficient? Let me look at your palm.
April: Ow. It's because of your man strength, Man Perkins.