Chris Quote #69

Quote from Chris in Li'l Sebastian

Ann: You know, tendonitis is usually caused by overuse. Have you been working out more than usual?
Chris: I did do 10,000 push-ups last week.
Ann: Oh, really. That might have something to do with it. You need to relax. You're in great shape.
Chris: For a 44-year-old.
Ann: Yeah. That's how old you are, man.
Chris: You're right. I've been overreacting. I don't like thinking about death. Death is the opposite of...
Ann: Being alive?
Chris: Exactly. Look at us. Talking like friends.
Ann: Yeah. What the hell. Friends.
Chris: Ann Perkins.
Ann: Chris Traeger.

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 ‘Li'l Sebastian’ Quotes

Quote from Andy

Leslie Knope: We'd like to encourage everyone to buy our merchandise. All the proceeds will go towards Li'I Sebastian's favorite charity, the Afghan Institute of Learning. Next, we have a special musical tribute by Mr. Andy Dwyer.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
[back:]
Andy: This song is called 5,000 Candles in the Wind. [plays guitar and sings] Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap and you learn to fly Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind [crowd applauds]

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, "All right. Another bureaucrat ate it." But then I found out it was Li'I Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.

Quote from Tammy Two

Tammy Two: Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.
Ron Swanson: Tammy.
Tammy Two: Hello, Ron. Ooh, what happened here? And more importantly, does the carpet match the face?
Ron Swanson: If you're looking for trouble, take it somewhere else. An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face. And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy Two: Tell that to your pants-tent.
Ron Swanson: It's just the way I'm standing. Go back to the library, where you belong.