Tom Quote #161
Quote from Tom in 94 Meetings
Tom: Hold up. Former beauty queen Jessica Wicks?
Bill Haggardy: Yes.
Tom: I'm Tom Haverford. I'm gonna be running point on this, Bill.
Leslie Knope: Why didn't you try to stop her?
Bill Haggardy: Her husband is Nick Newport, Sr. from Sweetums. Everyone in this town is afraid to say no to him.
Leslie Knope: Okay, everybody just relax. What alterations is she trying to make? Drilling holes. Painting. Uh, removing wainscoting. Uh, she's tearing down the gazebo.
Leslie Knope: What? She's what? No, she's not. Okay, Tom, go get the car. [throws car]
Tom: Ow! Don't throw things at me.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘94 Meetings’ Quotes
Quote from April
Man: Excuse me. I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday, but I had a little car trouble.
April: Sorry, he's busy right now.
Man: Oh. Uh, well. Well, can I reschedule?
April: Sure. Hmm. How about June 50th?
Man: Sorry?
April: Do you think you could come back today at 2:65? He's available then.
Man: What is going on?
April: Looks like the only other day he has open is March-tember one-teenth. Does that work, sir? [phone rings; April hangs up]
Quote from Tom
Tom: Jessica Wicks! Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse 'cause you look barely legal?
Jessica Wicks: Tom Haverford. If you're not the most charming man in Indiana.
Tom: And this must be the luckiest man in Indiana. Sir, it is an honor to meet you. [holds hand out; awkwardly hugs Nick Newport, Sr.] Come here, you.
Nick Newport, Sr.: Tell me straight. Are you a Chinese?
Tom: No. I'm one of the Indian people.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: That floppy old bag of money is gonna be dead in, like, a month. And who's going to comfort Jessica and her millions of dollars? Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger, but I'm a gold digger digger.
Quote from Ann
Ann: Now, I have to tell you, I don't actually work in the Parks Department. I'm a nurse.
Man: Seriously? That's great news. I have the weirdest thing on my arm. Can you see this?
Ann: [to camera] Every time.