Coach Quote #138
Quote from Coach in Girl Fight
Coach: [on the phone] I can help you end this. Do you know why? Do you know why? I'm waiting.
Schmidt: Oh, my God, is it because you have sisters?
Coach: It's because I have sisters! And you know what that means?
Schmidt: And that you know more about women than me.
Coach: I know more about women than you!
Schmidt: And that I'm a little dumb-dumb.
Coach: And I'm a big smart-smart. Yeah. Now, here's what you're gonna do. Get big like a bear. If that doesn't work, pee a circle around yourself and light it on fire.
Schmidt: I peed before I came. I had a root beer with lunch.
Coach: I'm on my way. Hey, uh, did you bring a gift? 'Cause I don't want to be that guy. You know, the guy that doesn't bring a gift?
Schmidt: Just get over here.
Coach: All right, I'm coming.
Winston: [bubble-wrapped to a chair] What? Coach! Coach, I can't turn the pages! How am I gonna study if I can't turn the pages?
New Girl Quotes
‘Girl Fight’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: Cece just texted me a smiley face.
Schmidt: Is that bad?
Jess: No, she just texted me the world's first good smiley face. I'm gonna text her [chuckles] a yellow heart. No, uh, yellow heart, whale, thumbs up.
Schmidt: Well, that seems nice.
Jess: [gasps] How dare she? Chinese man, ballerina, apartment building?
Schmidt: What does that mean?
Jess: Fine! Poop. Turban guy. Granny.
Schmidt: Don't text her poop.
Jess: [gasps] Explosion, monkey-see? You want to play dirty? Fine. Slice of cake. Turtle.
Schmidt: Don't sen...
Jess: Oh. [gasps] Double syringe? Double syringe. You're right, Schmidt. Maybe it's time to dig up some berries. The gatherers have become the hunters. Be well.
Schmidt: Wh-Where are you... Where are going? L-Leave those berries be.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Well, congratulations on having sisters, but I know women. You blindfold me, spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm, and I'll still find the G-spot.
Coach: Schmidt...
Schmidt: Let us not forget that I had boobs for the first 19 years of my life. I grew up as a fat, asexual friend-zoner. You can't buy that kind of access.
Quote from Jess
Cece: What the hell just happened?
Coach: Fight.
Schmidt: Yeah. Now it's over. I barely even remember it.
Jess: I cannot believe you guys handle things that way. I'm starting to think that neither one of you read the Madeleine Albright biography I gave you for Christmas.