Schmidt Quote #572
Schmidt: So, yeah, I was dating both of them at the same time. I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.
Rabbi Feiglin: Were the girls Jewish?
Schmidt: One Indian, one regular. Do you want to see a picture?
Rabbi Feiglin: I-I don't even know why you're here. You come in and say, "Do you have a minute?"
Schmidt: Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, Rabbi. It's just that... Okay, it's much more simple. How can I be a better person?
Rabbi Feiglin: Oh. Well, you seem awfully concerned with yourself. You might want to start thinking about the needs of others.
Schmidt: I think about others all the time. What- What I can get from them, how they can give me pleasure, do they have a silly little walk that I can make fun of?
Rabbi Feiglin: No, th-that's It's where you actually care about somebody else. You put their needs ahead of your own.
Schmidt: This is one of the few times that I wish I was Catholic. Couple Hail Marys and I'd be off the hook.
Rabbi Feiglin: Huh?
New Girl Quotes
‘The Box’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Winston: Nick, it's my money, okay?! Give it back to me!
Nick: I make a little bit of money and you come slipping out of the "woodword"!
Winston: You mean "woodwork"?
Nick: What is "woodwork"?!
Winston: What's "woodword"?!
Nick: Wood! Word! Wood! Word! That's where people like you come crawling out of when people like me have money!
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hi, I'd like to unpay some parking tickets.
Keysha: Excuse me?
Jess: Well, I sent in a payment earlier for some tickets and I decided I don't want to pay them.
Keysha: Well, just cancel the checks.
Jess: Can't do that 'cause I paid cash 'cause my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. It's early in the relationship. Still shaving above the knee if you know what I mean.
Keysha: Mm-hmm. Let me get this straight. You want me to watch the mail and let you know if I see anything from your boyfriend.
Jess: Exactly.
Keysha: Fantastic. Should I call you or...?
Jess: Text, text would be great.
Keysha: Perfect. Let me put your number into my phone. [taps on phone]
Jess: I didn't give you my number yet.
Keysha: Oh, I think you did.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I don't even know. I don't know what's cool anymore.
Jess: It could be a good time to start a bank account.
Nick: Yeah, or I could just flush it down the toilet.
Jess: It's not really the same thing, but-
Nick: A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls. That's all it is. I'm gonna keep my money where my mouth is. Um, under my nose. That saying actually does work.