Schmidt: So, yeah, I was dating both of them at the same time. I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.
Rabbi Feiglin: Were the girls Jewish?
Schmidt: One Indian, one regular. Do you want to see a picture?
Rabbi Feiglin: I-I don't even know why you're here. You come in and say, "Do you have a minute?"
Schmidt: Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, Rabbi. It's just that... Okay, it's much more simple. How can I be a better person?
Rabbi Feiglin: Oh. Well, you seem awfully concerned with yourself. You might want to start thinking about the needs of others.
Schmidt: I think about others all the time. What- What I can get from them, how they can give me pleasure, do they have a silly little walk that I can make fun of?
Rabbi Feiglin: No, th-that's It's where you actually care about somebody else. You put their needs ahead of your own.
Schmidt: This is one of the few times that I wish I was Catholic. Couple Hail Marys and I'd be off the hook.
Rabbi Feiglin: Huh?