Nick Quote #713
Coach: You guys are way too messed up to be going.
Nick: You're not an expert. I am. Nobody knows we're stoned. If we didn't go, then they would know.
Coach: You're saying that be... if we don't go to the party, they're gonna think that we're high.
Nick: Oh, the guy who's never done weed. That's not the proper term. It's "smoked weed." You don't "do weed." That's a test.
Coach: You said it.
Nick: Listen to me, first order of business, we eat their food.
Coach: Okay.
Nick: Then you look at the pool. "Aw, what a great pool. I wish... I wish I could dive for rings." Because if you were stoned, you wouldn't dive for rings. Um, I was just thinking of this impression. [clicks mouth] Who am I doing? [clicks mouth] Who am I doing?
Coach: Al Pacino?
Nick: Maybe. So, then, you get home, you eat some pizza... Trust me. I just thought of every single possibility of what could happen at that party, and none of them are bad.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dice’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.