Schmidt Quote #759

Quote from Schmidt in Dice

Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.


 ‘Dice’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.

Quote from Winston

Winston: So, man, I'm in the locker room, and I see a spider, and I'm like, "I hope this is Charlotte's Web and you're nice." [silence] You haven't seen Charlotte's Web? Charlotte's Web, the, uh, cartoon. The tale about the spider who was super chill and super cool. Then, well, series of events, she ended up dying. So that was sad. That was sad, but spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it. I'm sure you... You haven't seen it. [to himself] Where are my dogs?