Jess Quote #108
Quote from Jess in Jess and Julia
Jess: Well, there's actually more there than meets the eye. Um, there was a bird ... he's not in the shot ... but he was injured, and he couldn't get out of the road, and so I braked, and then I had to accelerate out of the intersection.
Julia: You missed your first court date on this.
Jess: My ex-boyfriend failed to send it to me before the court date, because he doesn't believe in mail, which has to do with his thoughts on government spending.
Julia: Now it's an $800 fine.
Jess: That's why I need, like, a really awesome lawyer, like you. So... can you help me?
Julia: I mean, I can try. You never know. A judge might buy into this whole thing, so...
Jess: What "whole thing"?
Julia: Your whole thing. With the cupcakes, and the braking for birds, and... bluebirds come and help me dress in the morning.
Jess: Oh, I didn't know I was doing a thing.
Julia: It's a great thing. I mean, the big, beautiful eyes, like a scared baby. I'm sure that gets you out of all kinds of stuff.
Jess: Yeah. Yeah, except my peripheral vision's, like, almost too good.
New Girl Quotes
‘Jess and Julia’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Damp! Damn it! Everybody ... bathroom now!
Jess: What's up, Dad?
Nick: What, Schmidt?
Schmidt: Is someone playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp?
Nick: 'cause it's not your towel. It's my towel, Schmidt.
Schmidt: No, it's not your towel. Your towel is the red one.
Nick: I'll tell you this, pal. I've never used that. I do use that one every single day.
Schmidt: Oh, God. [gags]
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?
Nick: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?
Julia: You never wash...?
Nick: You wash your towel?
Schmidt: You never wash the towel?
Nick: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap? You got to think here, pal.
Schmidt: I'm furious right now.
Nick: I get out of the damn shower, I'm clean as a damn baby, and I use the towel.
Schmidt: Let me ask you this. Have you been wearing my underpants?
Nick: Sometimes, yeah. Who cares? [Schmidt gags] You guys don't wear each other's underpants? You're lying. We all wear each other's underwear.
Quote from Winston
Winston: So, um... your place or mine?
Shelby: [laughs]
Winston: What are we laughing at?
Shelby: How much I'm not going home with you tonight. [laughs] You show up after two years, out of the blue, and all you do is talk about yourself. You don't even let me get a word in edgewise.
Winston: Why did you agree to let me take you out for drinks?
Shelby: Winston, you took me out for a drink at the place where I work! Here's your bill. Thanks for the water.
Winston: Man, I told you to get yourself whatever you wanted. You chose water.