Schmidt Quote #967
Quote from Schmidt in Jury Duty
Schmidt: Is that Jess? [takes the phone] Jess. It's awful. I don't know what to do. I'm sure Cece has her flaws, but I just can't see them. And even if I could, what would I do? How does a man stand up to the sunset?
Jess: Cece and Nick are basically the same person. Both stubborn, hotheaded and brutally honest.
Schmidt: Oh, dear Lord. I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.
Schmidt: Aw. I kind of love that. All right, what should we do? Can't go to Cece's apartment. Nadia's baby is teething. Have you ever heard a Russian child scream?
Jess: All the time, in my Putin nightmare.
New Girl Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Cece
Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.