Schmidt Quote #106
Quote from Schmidt in Jess and Julia
Jess: Are you going to go on, like, a big wet towel rant?
Schmidt: No. This is now a sex rant. To wit, six months ago, I thought getting a girl roommate would mean sex all the time ... definitely with her friends and probably with her. Are there women here? Yeah, sure, more than ever. But you ... not going to happen. You, I will never give up. And you... well, you sample from the gumbo pot.
Sadie: Ha.
Schmidt: I am in a damp bathroom full of naked women every day, and I hate it. It's like a nightmare. I'm in a... watermelon-themed apron with a... A tampon? Why would you need this for cooking?
New Girl Quotes
‘Jess and Julia’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Damp! Damn it! Everybody ... bathroom now!
Jess: What's up, Dad?
Nick: What, Schmidt?
Schmidt: Is someone playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp?
Nick: 'cause it's not your towel. It's my towel, Schmidt.
Schmidt: No, it's not your towel. Your towel is the red one.
Nick: I'll tell you this, pal. I've never used that. I do use that one every single day.
Schmidt: Oh, God. [gags]
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?
Nick: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?
Julia: You never wash...?
Nick: You wash your towel?
Schmidt: You never wash the towel?
Nick: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap? You got to think here, pal.
Schmidt: I'm furious right now.
Nick: I get out of the damn shower, I'm clean as a damn baby, and I use the towel.
Schmidt: Let me ask you this. Have you been wearing my underpants?
Nick: Sometimes, yeah. Who cares? [Schmidt gags] You guys don't wear each other's underpants? You're lying. We all wear each other's underwear.
Quote from Winston
Winston: So, um... your place or mine?
Shelby: [laughs]
Winston: What are we laughing at?
Shelby: How much I'm not going home with you tonight. [laughs] You show up after two years, out of the blue, and all you do is talk about yourself. You don't even let me get a word in edgewise.
Winston: Why did you agree to let me take you out for drinks?
Shelby: Winston, you took me out for a drink at the place where I work! Here's your bill. Thanks for the water.
Winston: Man, I told you to get yourself whatever you wanted. You chose water.