Jess: Are you going to go on, like, a big wet towel rant?
Schmidt: No. This is now a sex rant. To wit, six months ago, I thought getting a girl roommate would mean sex all the time ... definitely with her friends and probably with her. Are there women here? Yeah, sure, more than ever. But you ... not going to happen. You, I will never give up. And you... well, you sample from the gumbo pot.
Sadie: Ha.
Schmidt: I am in a damp bathroom full of naked women every day, and I hate it. It's like a nightmare. I'm in a... watermelon-themed apron with a... A tampon? Why would you need this for cooking?