Adrian Monk Quote #1184
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Would you mind trying these on?
Sports Fan Juror: What for?
Adrian Monk: You're about the same height of the victim, and I just want to try something. It'll just take a minute.
Cobb: What do you got? A fashion show, huh? I can't believe this guy.
Adrian Monk: We know these are the pants the victim was wearing when he was attacked. Could you step up, please? Of course, you can see where the knife went through the fabric. Well, something doesn't add up. I notice Mr. Palmer likes to wear his pants low. In the courtroom, we could almost see his bottom part. Rear posterior, side...
Pat: His butt?
Adrian Monk: Thank you. Look at the wound. He was actually stabbed in the upper thigh. It doesn't match up.
Patel: He's right, look at that.
Adrian Monk: At least, not when he's standing. Could you have a seat, please?
Sneezer: Son of a bitch. He was sitting down.
Pierced Girl: What does that prove?
Adrian Monk: Mr. Palmer said he was standing up when he was stabbed.
Sneezer: He was lying.
Adrian Monk: I think he pulled into that rest stop, saw Robert Perry who was sleeping, stabbed himself, pocketed the money, and then blamed everything on Perry.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Natalie
Adrian Monk: Your honor, I will not be able to serve today, unfortunately. For a number of reasons. First off... There's the bathroom situation. I can't share a bathroom. I just can't. You can ask Natalie. Natalie?
Natalie: Yeah, he's persnickety. He's very persnickety. He's persnickety squared.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Good morning. Picked up your mail. What is going on?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm having fun. I love this stuff.
Natalie: Yeah, so I see.
Adrian Monk: You know, I usually don't like shaking hands, but I ever met the man invented Tupperware, I would shake his hand.
Natalie: I think he might be dead.
Adrian Monk: Well, I would still shake his hand, because he's probably perfectly preserved. All right, look. It's virtually airtight. Look at this.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: I have two plants at home that are completely dependent on me, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: Plants?
Adrian Monk: I have a fern and a small azalea bush.
Judge Rienzo: And you have an assistant. Can't she water the plants?
Adrian Monk: Good question. Here's the thing. She has a tendency to overwater.
Natalie: Okay, that is not true. That happened once.
Adrian Monk: More than once.
Natalie: It was two ounces.
Adrian Monk: Two ounces to an azalea bush is like a swimming pool.
Natalie: Okay, wait-
Judge Rienzo: Mr. Monk, I have seen hundreds of people pretend to be disturbed to avoid jury duty, but you, sir, are in a class by yourself.
Adrian Monk: You're too kind.
Judge Rienzo: Well, it's not gonna work, sir. You have a seat, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Objection.
Judge Rienzo: You're juror number 11.