Adrian Monk Quote #1172
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty
Natalie: Good morning. Picked up your mail. What is going on?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm having fun. I love this stuff.
Natalie: Yeah, so I see.
Adrian Monk: You know, I usually don't like shaking hands, but I ever met the man invented Tupperware, I would shake his hand.
Natalie: I think he might be dead.
Adrian Monk: Well, I would still shake his hand, because he's probably perfectly preserved. All right, look. It's virtually airtight. Look at this.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Natalie
Adrian Monk: Your honor, I will not be able to serve today, unfortunately. For a number of reasons. First off... There's the bathroom situation. I can't share a bathroom. I just can't. You can ask Natalie. Natalie?
Natalie: Yeah, he's persnickety. He's very persnickety. He's persnickety squared.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: I have two plants at home that are completely dependent on me, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: Plants?
Adrian Monk: I have a fern and a small azalea bush.
Judge Rienzo: And you have an assistant. Can't she water the plants?
Adrian Monk: Good question. Here's the thing. She has a tendency to overwater.
Natalie: Okay, that is not true. That happened once.
Adrian Monk: More than once.
Natalie: It was two ounces.
Adrian Monk: Two ounces to an azalea bush is like a swimming pool.
Natalie: Okay, wait-
Judge Rienzo: Mr. Monk, I have seen hundreds of people pretend to be disturbed to avoid jury duty, but you, sir, are in a class by yourself.
Adrian Monk: You're too kind.
Judge Rienzo: Well, it's not gonna work, sir. You have a seat, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Objection.
Judge Rienzo: You're juror number 11.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: Pay attention, I'm only gonna say this once. Escobar's hearing is tomorrow at 12 noon.
We lock this joint down tonight at midnight, every exit, every window. 1 a.m., we sweep for bombs. Head to toe. 6 a.m., I want snipers on this roof and on the roof next door. We arrive 11:30. 11:40, we meet Lapides at the elevator and hand him off. After that, he's the bureau's headache.
Lieutenant Disher: Sir, could you repeat that, please?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, what part?
Lieutenant Disher: Uh, everything after "Pay attention, I'm only gonna say this once."