Adrian Monk: Are you going to finish that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can throw this out. [Monk starts eating the sandwich] Monk, I just took a bite of that.
Adrian Monk: Mmm, it's good, isn't it? I'm hungry. Is that a crime?

Lieutenant Disher: We found the weapon. It was in the reservoir. Thank you very much, Mr. Monk. It's a Kregmer .45. Ballistics match. It's definitely the same gun.
Adrian Monk: Anything else?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, guess who it was registered to, the jumper.
Sharona: What jumper?
Lieutenant Disher: The woman who took a swan dive out of her apartment five blocks away just before the shooting. Her name's Marlene Highsmith.
Adrian Monk: No, I meant, is there anything else to eat? Oh. The pudding's got my name on it.
Sharona: Did you bump your head? [feels Monk's head]
Adrian Monk: No. Did you? [feels Sharona's head]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, to hell with this. I'm outta here.

Adrian Monk: Move out. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Officer Hensley: She landed right here in a bathrobe.
Adrian Monk: Splat, huh?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh-huh. This was at 12:05?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir, 12:05. We've got five witnesses who saw her on the ledge just before she jumped.
Sharona: Was she alone?
Officer Hensley: We're not sure.
Adrian Monk: That's gotta hurt.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is your problem?
Adrian Monk: What is your problem?

Sharona: Was the door locked?
Building Supervisor: Yes, ma'am. The cops didn't get here till after dinner. They were busy down the street. Some detective got shot.
Sharona: Yeah, we heard about that.
Building Supervisor: Guess it all hits the fan at once sometimes.
Adrian Monk: What hits the fan?
Sharona: It.
Adrian Monk: Ah. Ah. It. It hits the fan.
Sharona: How long did she live here?
Building Supervisor: Almost three years.
Adrian Monk: I know what "it" means.

Officer Hensley: Mr. Monk, she left a note. They found it over there on the kitchen table.
Adrian Monk: "The pain is too much. I am so sorry. Marlene." There's something wrong with this note.
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Sharona: Hey. Are you getting enough sleep?
Adrian Monk: Me?
Sharona: Yes, you.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm fine. Never felt better. These nuts are great. Are these organic?
Sharona: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: What do you mean?
Sharona: The captain's been shot.
Adrian Monk: You're right. You're right. Here we go. [paces around the room with his hands held out, before running back to the nuts] Unbelievable. It's some kind of pecan hybrid or something.

Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: I got nothing.
Sharona: What do you mean?
Adrian Monk: I mean I got nothing. I'm dry. It happens.
Sharona: No, it doesn't. Not to you.
Adrian Monk: Hey, back off. You can't rush the Monk.
Sharona: The Monk? Adrian, what's going on?

Sharona: Hey. Are you on something? [Monk hands Sharona his bottle of pills] What's this?
Adrian Monk: It's called doxinyl. Dr. Kroger gave them to me. He is a genius.
Sharona: You're taking this?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. They're great. You want one?
Sharona: Why didn't you tell me? I'm your nurse.
Adrian Monk: This is why, because I knew you'd bring me down. You're bringing the Monk down, man.
Sharona: Okay, you know what? The Monk and I are going to talk later, but right now, everybody is counting on you.

Sharona: Now, we are in the apartment of the woman who owned the gun that shot the captain. Do you understand?
Adrian Monk: I know, I know, I know. It's a conundrum. [laughs] Conundrum. Conun. Conundrum. Conundrum. That's a funny word.

Waitress: Welcome to Rocket Burger. May I help you?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, uh, yeah, listen, I, I've lived down the street for, like, 12 years. I've never been in here.
Waitress: Okay.
Adrian Monk: So what's good?
Waitress: That's the menu.
Adrian Monk: Ah, pictures. Rocket burger, what's that?
Waitress: A hamburger.
Adrian Monk: And, uh, is it good? I mean, do people like it, regular people?
Waitress: It's popular.