Gloria Quote #881
Gloria: Hey, you humps! We're paying you by the hour!
Man: We're on a coffee break, lady.
Gloria: Oh, don't give me that. I used to do your job. And this attitude, this is why people hate movers. That and all the stealing.
Man: Whoa! You think you can do better?
Gloria: [chuckles] I hate to burst your bubble wrap, but I know I can.
Quote from Gloria
Mitchell: And why are the movers just sitting out there?
Gloria: Don't worry about them. I'll handle them. I used to be a mover. I kind of fell into it when I helped an ex-boyfriend steal his brother's refrigerator.
Mitchell: Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver, a hairdresser, a spokesmodel, and a mover. I-Is your life real?
Gloria: Is anything real? That was a question that I asked myself when I was a philosophy professor.
Quote from Dylan
Haley: Hey! You find it?
Dylan: No, but I just realized why they call rolling two ones with dice "snake eggs."
Haley: That's snake eyes.
Dylan: Oh. Then what did I realize?
Quote from Mitchell
Gloria: Now, say goodbye to the house. Tell it how much it meant to you. Be honest with each other, like two lovers that know that the time has come when they must part ways.
Mitchell: Okay, well, usually, I would just take my gym membership off his keychain and then introduce him to my mother.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!