Modern Family - Gloria Quote #881
Mitchell: And why are the movers just sitting out there?
Gloria: Don't worry about them. I'll handle them. I used to be a mover. I kind of fell into it when I helped an ex-boyfriend steal his brother's refrigerator.
Mitchell: Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver, a hairdresser, a spokesmodel, and a mover. I-Is your life real?
Gloria: Is anything real? That was a question that I asked myself when I was a philosophy professor.
Quote from Mitchell
Gloria: Now, say goodbye to the house. Tell it how much it meant to you. Be honest with each other, like two lovers that know that the time has come when they must part ways.
Mitchell: Okay, well, usually, I would just take my gym membership off his keychain and then introduce him to my mother.
Quote from Dylan
Haley: Hey! You find it?
Dylan: No, but I just realized why they call rolling two ones with dice "snake eggs."
Haley: That's snake eyes.
Dylan: Oh. Then what did I realize?
Quote from Cameron
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Not only are we moving, but we're adopting a baby that's due in two weeks.
Cameron: And that is stressing me out because eleven years ago, I revealed Lily with "The Lion King," and there's a lot of pressure...
Cameron: ...to top myself. So, I've been workshopping a few ideas.
[flashback to Cameron wheeling in a dining trolley:]
Cameron: I hope everyone here likes... baby! [chuckles] I can see that taking everyone's breath away, no?
Mitchell: Uh, I'm more concerned about the city taking our baby away.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
Quote from Hit and Run
Jay: Uh, this stupid kid's been in the business about ten minutes. He barely looks at my proposal, and he says he wants more "Wow."
Gloria: What does he mean by more "Wow"?
Manny: It's the "Bieber-ization" of America.
Jay: What do beavers have to do with anything?
Gloria: The beavers, they build the dams all over the country so there's no floods, is the "Beaver-ization" of the Americas.
Manny: I'm finding there's less and less we can talk about.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.