Luke Quote #374
Principal Brown: Shall we start?
Claire: Shouldn't we wait for Luke's guidance counselor?
Principal Brown: Mrs. Marks is going through a terrible divorce. She's very fragile right now. So I'm trying to keep the more challenging cases away from her.
Luke: None taken.
Quote from Ronaldo
Ronaldo: Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva. Her tummy can get a little fussy, so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her, just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"
Quote from Phil
Phil: Not to sound like a total Katen, but Haley's new job seems whack.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: If Haley wants to work in promotion, she should learn from my guy, Mr. Merv Schechter. Among his brilliant innovations, the indoor blimp that drops coupons at basketball games. Sadly, it was later weaponized by several terrorist organizations.
Quote from Up All Night
[asides to camera:]
Alex: What's the most irritating thing my parents say to me?
Manny: "That's too much cologne."
Haley: "That's how girls end up dead."
Luke: "Don't talk black to me."
Manny: "It's inappropriate because she's your teacher."
Luke: "How do you even talk black? End words with 'izzle'"?
Alex: [o.s.] It's "talk back," you idiot.
Quote from Starry Night
Luke: Why did he paint The Starry Night? Maybe because the sky is beautiful, and everybody likes looking at it, and it reminds us that something's up there watching over all of us- Aliens, who could be here in a second to liquefy us and use us as fuel. So wake up, people. We're next.
Alex: Mom! You better get down here!