Claire Quote #607
Claire: All right, Luke, we need to talk. Grandpa is coming for you, and he has run successful political campaigns before. He got Mitchell elected class president before it was cool to be gay.
Quote from Ronaldo
Ronaldo: Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva. Her tummy can get a little fussy, so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her, just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"
Quote from Phil
Phil: Not to sound like a total Katen, but Haley's new job seems whack.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: If Haley wants to work in promotion, she should learn from my guy, Mr. Merv Schechter. Among his brilliant innovations, the indoor blimp that drops coupons at basketball games. Sadly, it was later weaponized by several terrorist organizations.
Quote from The Closet Case
Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.
Quote from Pilot
Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.