Luke Quote #225
Mitchell: Well, there's this kid, and he's been kind of bullying Lily and all her friends. And I tried to teach him. I tried to put him in his place on the handball court, and I lost. And I-I could just see the disappointment in Lily's eyes.
Luke: Like there's any emotion in those eyes.
Mitchell: Are you gonna help me or not?
Luke: Okay. Yes! But I need you to give it 105%.
Mitchell: Ah, no. It's 110%, buddy.
Luke: That's impossible.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [speaking Spanish to Joe]
Jay: Careful. Keep that up, he'll have to hit "numero dos" when he calls the DMV.
Gloria: By the time he's old enough to call, it will be "numero uno."
Quote from Cameron
[aside to camera, together:]
Claire: For the last few months, Cam and I have been redoing a house together that we're gonna flip, and I have to say, it has been goin' great!
Cameron: We make an amazing team.
Claire: Yeah. The key is trust.
[aside to camera, separately:]
Cameron: The key is, I let Claire think she's in charge. I hide what I want in something bigger and more expensive. Then when she rejects that, we "compromise" on what I wanted all along. I call my method "the Trojan horse." You know how I got Lily? I asked Mitchell for triplets.
Quote from Up All Night
[asides to camera:]
Alex: What's the most irritating thing my parents say to me?
Manny: "That's too much cologne."
Haley: "That's how girls end up dead."
Luke: "Don't talk black to me."
Manny: "It's inappropriate because she's your teacher."
Luke: "How do you even talk black? End words with 'izzle'"?
Alex: [o.s.] It's "talk back," you idiot.
Quote from Starry Night
Luke: Why did he paint The Starry Night? Maybe because the sky is beautiful, and everybody likes looking at it, and it reminds us that something's up there watching over all of us- Aliens, who could be here in a second to liquefy us and use us as fuel. So wake up, people. We're next.
Alex: Mom! You better get down here!