Gloria Quote #352

Quote from Gloria in The Wow Factor

Gloria: [speaking Spanish to Joe]
Jay: Careful. Keep that up, he'll have to hit "numero dos" when he calls the DMV.
Gloria: By the time he's old enough to call, it will be "numero uno."

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 ‘The Wow Factor’ Quotes

Quote from Cameron

[aside to camera, together:]
Claire: For the last few months, Cam and I have been redoing a house together that we're gonna flip, and I have to say, it has been goin' great!
Cameron: We make an amazing team.
Claire: Yeah. The key is trust.
Cameron: Absolutely.
[aside to camera, separately:]
Cameron: The key is, I let Claire think she's in charge. I hide what I want in something bigger and more expensive. Then when she rejects that, we "compromise" on what I wanted all along. I call my method "the Trojan horse." You know how I got Lily? I asked Mitchell for triplets.

Quote from Phil

Phil: What is happening?
Alex: I'm sweeping.
Phil: No, you're not sweeping. You're just spreading it all around.
Luke: It's gonna cost more if you want me to eat it now.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: That's when it hit me: My daughters know nothing about home care and maintenance. I don't want 'em to be dependent. It's up to me to show them what a modern, self-sufficient woman looks like.

Quote from Claire

Claire: By the way, we couldn't get the powder room fixtures you wanted.
Cameron: What? Why?
Claire: Well, they're 23%, or $982, over the budget. Keeping in mind, that space is only 12% of 1,462 square feet.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: Whenever I need to rein in Cam's spending, I employ something that I like to call "the number dump."
[back:]
Claire: So unless you wanna cut 16%, or $1,764 from somewhere in the flooring budget, we've gotta find another 4% overall.
Cameron: Yeah. No, as long as they're pretty, it's fine. It's fine.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: Yesterday, I accidentally said "eleventy-five."

 Gloria Delgado Quotes

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Unplugged

Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!

Quote from Hit and Run

Jay: Uh, this stupid kid's been in the business about ten minutes. He barely looks at my proposal, and he says he wants more "Wow."
Gloria: What does he mean by more "Wow"?
Manny: It's the "Bieber-ization" of America.
Jay: What do beavers have to do with anything?
Gloria: The beavers, they build the dams all over the country so there's no floods, is the "Beaver-ization" of the Americas.
Manny: I'm finding there's less and less we can talk about.