Gloria Quote #717

Quote from Gloria in Winner Winner Turkey Dinner

Alex: Hey, Gloria, this is weird. You know, I downloaded your My StepCounter data onto my computer, and it's showing your path this morning was the same route my mom took in her race.
Claire: Hmm?
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I was never going to get 100,000 steps. But then I learned that Claire was going on a Turkey Trot. The second time I hugged her, it was a little harder because she was really wet.
[back:]
Claire: So I'm basically just your StepCounter mule? I thought you cared about my race.
Gloria: I love you very much, Claire, but your exercise doesn't really interest me.

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 ‘Winner Winner Turkey Dinner’ Quotes

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] There- There is a backstory. In the summer of 1984, inspired by "The Karate Kid," I went through a martial arts phase. When Cam brought those nunchucks home, it was just too much to resist. 30 years later, once again, it was time to sweep the leg.

Quote from Jay

Principal: You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish.
Jay: In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning is not historically accurate. For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option at the first Thanksgiving.
Principal: We have children here from many ethnicities, and we try to make them all feel included.
Jay: Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll while Myles Standish helps himself to gluten-free huevos rancheros!
[aside to camera:]
Jay: After that, it got heated, and we got expelled.
Joe: "We"?
Jay: But they'll call. They need my check.

Quote from Phil

Phil: If I can't do this trick, my magic shop is gonna be the laughingstock of the mini-mall. And there's still a Blockbuster there.