Cameron: No, okay, not happening. I'm having flashbacks. I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I was kid, I fell into a well.
Mitchell & Cameron: [together] It happened the same day as baby Jessica, but she got all the press.
Cameron: It still stings. Everybody loves a baby, but not one single prayer for a husky teen who's stuck head-first in a well for the better part of an hour.

Cameron: All right, Lily, let's go. Okay, how late are we, "goat loose in the house" late or "stubborn cow in the road" late?
Mitchell: You've lived here 12 years. Please use city time.

Pam: Ugh, my old squash injury.
Mitchell: Oh, you played squash?
Pam: No. I grew the heaviest one in the county. I had to carry it inside every night, on account of poachers.

Danielle Pardo: Do you know that there are only a handful of female C.E.O.s in the entire Fortune 500?
Luke: That's crazy. Women can drive a race-car just as well as a man.
Danielle Pardo: You joke.
Luke: Huh?

Danielle Pardo: If you guys are making signs, here are some of the issues: women make 79 cents on the dollar, and the government wants to tell me what I can do with my body. I mean, how would you feel if...
[aside to camera:]
Luke: Whoa! She blew my mind. Society treats girls like second-class citizens. I've spent a lot of time on women's websites, but none of this stuff ever came up.