Gloria Quote #44
Quote from Gloria in My Funky Valentine
Gloria: Don't tell me you're finally taking me salsa dancing! ... And who's David Brenner?
Jay: Only a Vegas legend.
Gloria: Is he a magician? 'Cause I love magicians.
Jay: He's a comedian.
Gloria: A comedian? It's Valentine's Day. I thought we were going salsa dancing, not to watch a comedian.
Jay: You're gonna love him. Trust me. The guy's hilarious.
Gloria: Okay, tell me one of his jokes.
Jay: He doesn't do jokes.
Gloria: Does he have a mallet?
Jay: No.
Gloria: So then how does he get hit in the head?
Jay: He doesn't get hit in the head. He- He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way. Come on. He's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
Gloria: Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
Jay: Oh, for God's sake.
Modern Family Quotes
‘My Funky Valentine’ Quotes
Quote from Dylan
Claire: Hi, Dylan.
Dylan: Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy. [hands Claire a rose]
Claire: Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.
Dylan: You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old.
Claire: Huh. Conflicted.
Quote from Jay
Jay: [aside to camera] Gloria and I are from different generations. And I won't lie- It isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria: No I didn't.
Jay: It was a joke.
Gloria: I don't get it.
Jay: Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria: Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Mind if I join you? I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.
Claire: Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana. So, Clive, you in town for a convention, or do you just forget your name a lot?
Phil: Pretty kitty has nails. I like that. I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electroacoustic transducers. [takes out cigarette]
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.
Phil: It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.
Claire: Hmm.
Phil: So, what's your story? Miss America Pageant in town?
Claire: You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.
Phil: I'm pretty smooth all over. [lights up]
Waitress: Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Phil: Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.
Claire: You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.