Modern Family - Phil Quote #139
Phil: Mind if I join you? I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.
Claire: Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana. So, Clive, you in town for a convention, or do you just forget your name a lot?
Phil: Pretty kitty has nails. I like that. I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electroacoustic transducers. [takes out cigarette]
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.
Phil: It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.
Phil: So, what's your story? Miss America Pageant in town?
Claire: You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.
Phil: I'm pretty smooth all over. [lights up]
Waitress: Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Phil: Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.
Claire: You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.
Quote from Dylan
Claire: Hi, Dylan.
Dylan: Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy. [hands Claire a rose]
Claire: Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.
Dylan: You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old.
Claire: Huh. Conflicted.
Quote from Jay
Jay: [aside to camera] Gloria and I are from different generations. And I won't lie- It isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria: No I didn't.
Jay: It was a joke.
Gloria: I don't get it.
Jay: Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria: Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Well, we just thought it would be a nice surprise.
Mitchell: Well, it's hardly a surprise. I mean, you dress her up for every holiday. I was giving her a bath last night, and I still saw traces of Martin Luther King behind her ear.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.
Quote from Pilot
Phil: [aside to camera] I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I'm hip. I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so...