Alex Quote #372
Alex: Question. I need to hire an assistant. Do you think it would be unethical to hire the second most qualified candidate?
Haley: What's wrong with the most qualified?
[flashback to Alex talking with an extremely attractive man:]
Man: And after graduating Stanford engineering, I was offered a Rhodes Scholarship.
Man: Do you have any questions for me?
Alex: I definitely have to carve out some extra time for giggling.
Haley: You can't discriminate against the poor guy just because he's a smoke show. I've been battling hot-shaming my entire life.
Alex: Please don't say "hot lives matter."
Quote from Javier
Manny: Hey, Dad!
Javier: There's my boy! [laughs] Whee! Someone has been wearing my custom-made cologne... Javier! For the man who wants to smell a little bit like a woman.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Today, our old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, is coming to visit. And he says he has a "big surprise" for me. I don't know if the super rich have access to time travel, but if they do, I'm going back to the '90s.
Claire: Ooh, to buy a whole bunch of Amazon stock?
Phil: No! I'm going to tell Felicity not to cut her hair.
Quote from En Garde
Haley: No! No, no, no, no, no! Phone died!
Alex: No biggie. Your battery probably just statically defracticated.
Alex: It means you can recharge it with static electricity. Just rub it on your hair.
Quote from Baby on Board
Michael: You look flawless.
Michael: Did I not say coral was the color for you? Look what it does for your skin. Hi!
Phil: Hi, buddy.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn't know it yet, so I'm basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.