Claire Quote #278

Quote from Claire in Baby on Board

Haley: I don't see why I can't do this. I'm totally getting my life together.
Claire: Uh, allow me, if you will, to paint an accurate picture of this life, you think you want, okay? Um, at first, it's a blast: Buying a dish rack, hanging a sheet up to turn one room into two.
Phil: Allen-wrenching a bookcase called a Nurnk because you couldn't afford the Sklurg.
Claire: But then... Then those bills start rolling in, so you gotta pick up some extra shifts. And suddenly [gasps] Uh-oh, what's that? You're pregnant.
Phil: Should've been safe.
Claire: Ooh, and you're stressed and exhausted. You've got a garage filled with unsold huge t-shirts. And, honey, if you think this kind of stress is not gonna take its toll on that body and that face, think again. [singsongy] Good-bye, beautiful skin. Farewell, silky hair. [normal voice] And hello, Alex's hand-me-downs, 'cause you can't afford to shop.
Haley: [gasps]
Phil: Good one.


 ‘Baby on Board’ Quotes

Quote from Alex

Michael: You look flawless.
Alex: Thanks.
Michael: Did I not say coral was the color for you? Look what it does for your skin. Hi!
Phil: Hi, buddy.
Claire: Hi.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn't know it yet, so I'm basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.

Quote from Manny

Gloria: Jay! Manny! Good news! Mitch and Cam are getting a new baby today.
Jay: Really? That's fantastic.
Gloria: And it's Latino!
Manny: How's that giant fence working out for ya?

Quote from Haley

Claire: Um, we need to talk, honey. We're worried about you. You haven't heard back from the college that wait-listed you, and all the rest of your friends have. And now you're just wasting time at the mall.
Haley: For your information, I've already filled out and dropped off my community college application. And plus also I'm going to the mall because I have a job interview.
Claire: What?
Phil: Really?
Haley: My guidance counselor suggested I take a gap year. You know, a year between high school and college were you take some courses, have some life experiences, and get inspired. And obviously, work at the GAP.