Haley: I don't see why I can't do this. I'm totally getting my life together.
Claire: Uh, allow me, if you will, to paint an accurate picture of this life, you think you want, okay? Um, at first, it's a blast: Buying a dish rack, hanging a sheet up to turn one room into two.
Phil: Allen-wrenching a bookcase called a Nurnk because you couldn't afford the Sklurg.
Claire: But then... Then those bills start rolling in, so you gotta pick up some extra shifts. And suddenly [gasps] Uh-oh, what's that? You're pregnant.
Phil: Should've been safe.
Claire: Ooh, and you're stressed and exhausted. You've got a garage filled with unsold huge t-shirts. And, honey, if you think this kind of stress is not gonna take its toll on that body and that face, think again. [singsongy] Good-bye, beautiful skin. Farewell, silky hair. [normal voice] And hello, Alex's hand-me-downs, 'cause you can't afford to shop.
Haley: [gasps]
Phil: Good one.