‘In Your Head’
Season 9, Episode 13 - Aired January 17, 2018
After Luke doesn't return home following a night out in a sketchy neighborhood, Manny, Phil and Gloria team up to search for him. Seeking advice for a job interview with the creator of a popular lifestyle website, Haley interrupts Alex's college class and annoys the professor, Arvin Fennerman.
Quote from Haley
Nicole Rosemary Page: [melodramatically] People say that NERP is nothing more than a con job, a cash-grab vanity project from a kooky actress. Ugh.
Haley: Oh, I'm sorry. Was that a question?
Nicole Rosemary Page: No.
Haley: Oh, okay.
Nicole Rosemary Page: But is it true? They don't tell me things.
Haley: Who's "they"?
Quote from Haley
Nicole Rosemary Page: See, I don't see NERP as, like, a business. It's more, like, a kind of-
Haley: Like a way of life! Me too!
Nicole Rosemary Page: Walt Disney once envisioned a magical world and people told him he was mad. They called it "Walt's Folly." But you know what that place became?
Haley: Disneyland.
Nicole Rosemary Page: That was not a question.
Haley: Oh, I- I'm sorry.
Nicole Rosemary Page: [whimpering] That place is Disneyland.
Haley: What?! That's crazy. Didn't see it coming.
Quote from Haley
Nicole Rosemary Page: I want to turn NERP into the next Disney-Facebook-Tesla-Botox. It's a world changer. It's a road map to the future. [upset] That was a question!
Haley: Oh.
Quote from Haley
Nicole Rosemary Page: Alright, listen. I really liked your writing sample, it's true. But [sighs] we have a lot of candidates with more experience and famous-er parents, so fly away, little birdie. Flap. Flap, flap.
Haley: Okay, thank you. Nicole? You and me this is gonna happen.
Nicole Rosemary Page: Excuse me?
Haley: There are forces in the universe that we don't understand. They can't be explained, but they cannot be denied, and that is what this is. I don't- I don't get it, but I know that it's real.
Nicole Rosemary Page: Oh, my God! That is just what I said to all of those haters who told me that my crystal energy stickers did not improve your colon health. Uh! Crazy. They do if you, you know...
Haley: Yeah. So, um, does that mean that I will see you Monday morning?
Nicole Rosemary Page: Let's make it Tuesday 'cause I like to spend Mondays in a flotation tank.
Quote from Haley
Professor Arvin Fennerman: Right, I've just air-dropped my contact info to your phone. Um, you just tap to accept it.
Haley: Uh, yeah, not gonna tap that.
Professor Arvin Fennerman: I think you will. Haley, there are forces in the universe that we don't understand measurable forces that can't be explained, but cannot be denied and that's that's what this is. I don't get it, but I know that it's real.
Haley: Wow! [laughing] That was so dumb!