‘A Game of Chicken’
Season 11, Episode 6 - Aired November 6, 2019
Gloria is using her alone time with the twins as an opportunity to secretly baptize them before Haley and Dylan get home. Meanwhile, Claire is still dealing with the fallout from the smart closet fiasco, and Cam is at war with his school’s mascot who is threatening his chance at securing a new college coaching job.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter? Other than befriend children, I mean.
Scooter: I'm a venture capitalist. I've invested in 22 companies over the last 30 years and personally led three of them from initial concept through IPO.
Phil: Fascinating. You ever thought about starting a business with, um, I don't know, your... your own son?
Quote from Phil
Phil: Well, I am so sorry, guys, but I like filling out medical forms, and I think there are millions of hardworking Americans just like me, so this Shark is out.
Quote from Claire
Luke: Uh, Mom?
Phil: Oh, good luck with that one. She's a lot tougher than me.
Claire: Well, it brings me absolutely no joy to say this. Luke, I'm impressed.
Phil: But...?
Claire: But nothing. Do you have any idea how much I hate filling out those medical forms?
Quote from Phil
Phil: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. It's not settled yet.
Scooter: Well, I thought we heard a yes.
Phil: No, I'm... I'm still having a conversation with my wife. Please, make yourself comfortable. Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes while I grab you an instantly cold beverage.
Quote from Claire
Claire: You know, seeing your guys' pitch, and the... the passion, that sparkle in your eye, I... I don't remember the last time I saw you care about anything that much. [sighs] I don't remember the last time I did.
Phil: That's super hurtful.
Claire: No, sweetie, I'm talking about work. I... Honestly, I used to get up in the morning, and I couldn't wait to get to the office. And now I dread it. I do. I miss loving my job or even liking it. Now all I do is put out fires and manage complaints and... and lose sleep over stuff that really doesn't matter. Yeah. I think I'm... I think I'm gonna quit my job.
Phil: Are you serious?
Claire: Yeah. Is that... Is that crazy?
Phil: Uh, no. No, not necessarily. I mean, crazy is sticking with something that's been making you miserable for months when there are so many companies out there who would want someone with your skills.
Claire: [on the phone] Hey, Nick, you still there? I told my son this morning that he should never quit. Well, I was wrong. I'm out.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [aside to camera] It was a nightmare. The biggest opportunity of my career, and I couldn't focus. I tried not to make any mockable movements. David Tashi was just operating at too high a level. But then something wonderful happened. That's when I realized I knew that chicken... Those weak punches, a run that said "Pick me last" in gym class. It was my Mitchell.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, Mitchell? Is that you in the mascot costume? Is someone forcing you to do that? Okay, then get in the car now. I stayed in California. I married outside of my religion. I spend every waking moment with your family. But my love is not unconditional. O-Okay. Alright.
Mitchell: [removes chicken head] I love it when they honk for me.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Do we really need to do this on a Saturday?
Margaret: I'm sorry. Nick was supposed to sign these before he left for Fiji, and people need to get paid. We don't all live in mansions.
Claire: This is hardly a mansion, Margaret. Whoa, why are we writing a huge check to a shaman?
Margaret: Oh, Nick took the interns on a vision quest. Well, the female ones.
Claire: Gross.