Craig Quote #113
Woman: Didn't you used to work here a couple of months ago?
Lois: Oh, yeah. I practically ran this place for about twelve years. In fact, I think I still hold the record-
Craig: Lois! Mr. Crechale said probationary employees have to wear the pin.
[Craig sticks a "Help me learn!" pin on Lois's top]
Woman: It's so big.
Craig: I've been on probation lots of times, Lois. You can choose not to feel humiliated. They're just trying to break your spirit with the pin, and the drug test, and those draconian hygiene checks. I suggest for the next two weeks, you wash your hands after using the bathroom, just in case. Oh, by the way, they changed the codes. [talks as Lois scans items] The women's room isn't 456892, it's 630385. Oh, and if you ever need the Men's, don't try 876466, it's 459929.
Lois: Damn it. [over P.A.] Over ring on Two. [Malcolm comes and unlocks the register]
Woman: I'm sure you're good at lots of things.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Standee’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: You know what's really bothering you? You don't think I'm prejudiced. You're just mad that at work I don't have to obey you. And now that I'm getting older, you're losing more and more control over me every day. You can't stand that soon I'll be free!
Trey: He has a dream!
Malik: Sing it, my brother!
Lois: Should we talk about what's really bothering you? It's that you know I'm right! You do have a code of ethics that you're trying to deny!
Malcolm: What do you know about ethics? Bringing this in here to embarrass me in front of Dad's friends?! Did I tell Dad how you said that sooner or later he'll realize he'll look ridiculous, and quit this stupid fight with the trash man?! Did I?! No! Because, no matter how mad I get, I always treat you with some level of decency!
Hal: I'll realize I look ridiculous.
Lois: Hal, that's not the point!
Quote from Lois
Lois: What is this?
Craig: It's the new ad campaign for Smooth Malt Liquor.
Lois: You don't find this offensive?!
Craig: Why?
Lois: Well, it's a Black janitor with a mop and a six pack of Malt Liquor in his hand.
Craig: I don't know that he's the janitor, maybe he just spilled something.
Lois: His name is Slappy?!
Craig: A delightful throwback to a simpler time.
Lois: Well, I'm getting rid of it.
Craig: If you get caught, I don't know about this. And I would have loved to have been called Slappy growing up!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Dewey, could you reach in my sock drawer and get me a pair of socks?
Dewey: OK.
Reese: Not that one. On top.
Dewey: Not on the top of the dresser. Right in front of you, the sock drawer.
Reese: That's your sock drawer. Go next to it. On the other side. Not behind the dresser. All you have to do is reach into my drawer and... [Reese screams as a crab bites his finger] So stupid, Dewey.